LIFE IS A GIFT, LIVE IT

Me on my special day (wearing clothes
bought with my birthday money)!

Today is a special day to me. It's my birthday. I've not always considered this a special day. Once I even threatened my husband that if he did anything for me for my birthday, I'd be so mad at him. I didn't want to be older. Back then, I didn't like the fact that I was entering my 30's. I wanted to stay in my 20's forever! Over the years I have dealt with so many bouts of depression (usually from hormonal changes that sometimes come with having a baby). I thought I hated myself and my life. I've also had to deal with anxiety, just as recently as this past March. But you know what? I've had enough! After this last battle with anxiety (and it really is a battle because you have to fight with every tool that God gives you) I vowed that this year would be my greatest year yet! I even wrote down a countdown to this day and started marking the days off, looking forward to it with great expectation. I will no longer allow those demons of depression and anxiety to have control over my life. I created a summer bucket list to make sure that my family is spending fun, quality time together. No more wasteful summers! I have also started taking steps to ensure a healthier future for myself. The biggest thing I've done is give up pop. I haven't had any pop since March and I know that has helped me lose weight and I have way fewer headaches than I use to. I also walk almost every night that I get the chance. I'll do my part and let God handle the rest. 

Some unfortunate events in my life have led me to a new perspective on life. Sometimes that's what it takes to wake us up and snap us out of our pitiful life so we can see the beauty of life that God created for us.

My mom's story is one of those things that was a true game changer for me. She has been through so much this past year. It has broken my heart to know the pain that she's had to endure. She had unexplained, debilitating pain in her body for months. Doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. She was also repeating herself quite frequently. I was wondering if she had Alzheimer's or something. I'd listen to her tell me an entire story and then five minutes later, repeat it just as she did at the beginning of our conversation. Then one day, she went to the bathroom and she couldn't stand back up. She just lost the functionality of her legs. She had also fallen prior to this, but I guess no one realized how big of a deal it was. When my dad took her to the hospital, they found a mass in her head. Eventually she had the mass removed and we found out that it was the size of a tennis ball. Can you imagine? Every time I see my kids playing with a tennis ball now, I think about what my mom came through. Thankfully, it wasn't cancer. But even so, this was enough to jerk me out of my pity party and realize that life is a gift. We don't know what tomorrow holds.My mom's surgery went great, but since then, she's been dealing with blood clots. I know she's going to get through this! She's a woman of strength and she's setting such a good example for me and my kids. 

My grandmother, Dad, Me, and my mom
(and my brother and my youngest son in the background)

Another way that God has used my mom, is in my dad's life. Years ago, I was prophesied to by a man that I respect and I believe the words he's spoken over me and my family. He told me that my entire family will be healed and they will be saved, but I must leave it to God. I cannot save them. Wow, turns out that he was right! The night before my mom's surgery, my dad took my mom and my grandmother to revival at my grandma's church, and that night, my dad gave his life to the Lord. When I got this wonderful news, I was beyond amazed and excited over what God had done. I felt like this was a huge gift from God to me. Because honestly, if my dad had died before this night, I wasn't sure what would happen to his soul. Now I thank God almost daily for saving my dad because I can live with absolute peace that he will spend eternity with Jesus! 

About a week ago, my grandmother fell and broke her hip. She's had a rough road since the surgery, but I also have peace about this because God told me that it's not her time to go yet. She's going to come through this. I had the privilege to speak with her today and tell her all that God shared with me. Through her pain, God is using her as a witness to bring the rest of her family to Christ. I reminded her that they are still watching her and she needs to stay strong and continue fighting the good fight.

Another thing that I just can't ignore is what is going on in America and in our world. Again today, there were more deliberate police officer shootings. I want to cower back in fear, stay home, and keep my kids safe. But I know that isn't the answer. I know that just allows Satan to have victory. What I will do instead is to pray for peace and for God to have mercy on all of us. I will pray for the victims and their families. I will pray for the people who have caused the tragedies, and their families too. And I will go out, and I will live my life to the fullest. Because in the end, God already knows when my final day will be. Nothing I do will change that. But until then, I will chose joy, forgiveness, and love. I will chose to be thankful for this life that I've been so blessed to have. And I will continue sharing my stories, hoping that at least one person will be encouraged. Keep fighting the good fight my friends. You never know how your fight or your simple acts of kindness will change someone else's life. It might just impact their life beyond their walk on this earth!

Be blessed my friends!

The Lion

This morning I had a very prophetic dream. I can barely remember any of the actual details of the dream, except that there was a lion with it's mouth open and I heard these words, "The lion's mouth is never shut". When I woke up, those words just kept running through my head. The lion's mouth is never shut. The lion's mouth is never shut. Then suddenly I felt within my spirit, something telling me that God is the lion, and His mouth is never shut because He is always looking out for me. He is always fighting the enemy off on my behalf. The Lion's mouth is never shut!

http://wallpapertags.com/images/roaring-lion-44006

Wow! What a vision! I thought about this more and more. And I feel like God is just trying to remind us that no matter what things appear like, no matter how broken your life may seem, He is watching and waiting. His mouth is open wide and He is attacking the enemy without you even realizing it. He has saved you over and over. He has kept you from car wrecks and other bad situations that you didn't even see coming. You have no idea what almost happened. He's working in the background, when you think He has forgotten about you. So, as hard as it may seem, please try to focus on the unseen instead of what you see with your own eyes. Praise God for bringing you through all the storms that you've gone through. And praise Him for bringing you through the ones you knew nothing about!

Be blessed my friends!

The Nightmares Continue

About a week ago I had a dream that I was walking out on a pier with my two oldest sons. I told my oldest son as I was walking away, to keep a really close eye on his younger brother. I looked back over my shoulder and yelled at him and told him that he was too far away from his brother and wasn't even looking in his direction. As I was talking, I saw my 5 year old son calmly walk to the edge of the pier and then he stepped into the water and went under. I screamed my oldest son's name. He turned and ran towards the water to try to save his brother...and then woke up.

I found this picture from our last vacation. It's really creepy to me now because it's very similar to the scene at the end of my dream. Only there wasn't any railing where Stinky Face fell into the water. 

As I was telling my husband about this dream, he said that was strange because he also had a dream that involved a pier.

Fast forward to last night and I had another nightmare concerning my little Stinky Face again. Here's the dream:

I was at a park with two of my friends. Stinky Face was having a blast in the distance, but I was keeping a close eye on him. I noticed this woman with dark hair looking at him and I told my friends that she was going to try to steal him. Sure enough, I hear her call him by name. Then she tells him that his mommy wanted him to come with her. He came up to her vehicle. It was an older, maroon SUV. She went to the passenger side as my friends and I ducked down on the drivers side. We were waiting for her to put him in the car so we could actually report it as kidnapping.

She put him in the back seat and put headphones on him so he couldn't hear anything. I told one of my friends to get the license plate number. I started slowly dialing 911. After she put him in his seat, she climbed though the passenger side of the car and quickly locked the door on us. I started yelling and banging on her window. I still had my phone in my hand, dialing 911, but the call wasn't going through.

The woman who stole my son had become a man at this point of the dream. He drove off. I yelled at my friends to follow him. I got in my car trying to chase him too. I quickly lost him and I heard a voice, "All circuits are busy." from my phone. I frantically kept trying to call for help, but my call just wouldn't go through. I had lost the man and my friends in my pursuit.

Somehow in my dream I figured out where the man was. I think I saw the vehicle parked somewhere. I go up to this huge, white house and just barge in. It was like Halloween or something. There were a lot of scary people figures throughout the house. One of them was slouched over a chair with his butt facing me. Just as I was noticing this particular figure, he stood up and turned around and started coming towards me. It was the man! I was frantic!

At that very moment, someone finally answered my call for help. I was very quickly telling them that my son had been kidnapped and I found the man who did it. I looked at the door to my right and there happened to be an address label on the door. I read the address to them as fast as I could. The man was still coming towards me. I remembered the address was 90 Longsworth Way.

At that point, I was off of the phone with 911 and the man told me that we need to talk about the money. Then I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep.

I told my husband about this dream and he said that he had a nightmare also. It was also very long and detailed, but basically it involved people from college holding him hostage. He was eventually able to escape. I think it's crazy how our dreams have had similarities. 

I don't know if these dreams about my Stinky Face are warnings from God, or if they are from the devil. I am praying about them and also praying that they stop. They are very disturbing. God promised me that He would give me the meanings of my dreams, so I am just waiting on Him to reveal the reason behind these terrible nightmares about my little man. I do know that in the mean time, I will be keeping a very close eye on him!

To read about my 1st bad dream involving Stinky Face, click HERE. This happened about a month ago.

Be blessed my friends! 

The Spirit of a Quitter

About a year or so ago I was at church when our pastor and assistant pastor were laying hands on people and praying and prophesying over them. When it came my turn, the assistant pastor put his hands on my forehead and prayed a great prayer and spoke some fantastic words about our family. Then he took me by complete surprise when he said that he "breaks the spirit of a quitter off of me". What? ME, a quitter? And then it began. The deep reflections of my life and the realization of all the things I have quit doing, much of it long before God was calling me to quit.

• I quit college my senior year. Looking back, I really wish I had just pushed through those last few months. MONTHS! That's all I had left, and I quit.

• I quit a business that was growing great and had such awesome potential. Now, this one I really think God was leading me to quit, but sometimes I still question whether it was His will or mine. Sometimes I miss it, but it was really stressful at times.

• I've quit my dieting and exercise plans numerous times. Never got anywhere with that. Once again I'm trying to lose weight.

• At this very moment I want to stop homeschool because I feel like my husband would be so much better at it than me. I'm so frustrated. I can't even pronounce things right. He's a genius!

•  I stopped singing. This isn't good because one of my life goals was to become a famous singer. I used to sing on the praise and worship team, but then I had a baby and I'm having trouble making it to church on time. At least that's my excuse for now.

•  I've tried babysitting several times and it never worked out. 

Okay, I could honestly go on and on, but all that would do is drag me down. So I'll stop right here and give you and me some encouragement to keep moving forward. Don't give up.

WHAT DOES GOD SAY ABOUT QUITTING?

My favorite verse to keep me going through tough times (or even just when I'm feeling lazy) is this:   

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap a harvest, if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

 This verse helps me when I feel like I'm facing a mountain. I actually tried meditating on it when I was in labor with our last child. It has really brought me through some tough times.

I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord. 1 Corinthians 15:58

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. 1 Corinthians 9:24

 Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

 But he who endures to the end shall be saved. Matthew 24:13

 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

For with God nothing will be impossible. Luke 1:37

I REALLY wanted to just stop blogging during this post because my computer is running so slow that it's driving me bonkers! But look, I persevered and YOU CAN TOO! Whatever it is you are facing, no matter how big or small, just KEEP PUSHING FORWARD.  

DON'T QUIT!!!

Be blessed my friends!

A Dream With A Warning

Last night I had a lot of dreams, but one dream really stood out to me. I woke up and immediately began contemplating the meaning because it seemed so bizarre. Here is the dream:

I was living on a farm (but not the one I grew up on). My dad was loading rabbits in an enclosed trailer to haul them off to the butcher. How strange! I walked over to the trailer where he was and he said that I might want to go away while he took care of this. I knew immediately what he was talking about, so I quickly walked away with one of the rabbits in my arms that I intended on saving. As I was walking away, my dad broke another rabbit's neck to kill it. 

I walked inside the house and suddenly my rabbit was a sheep. I was petting it when all of the sudden it clamped down on my finger and wouldn't let go. Wow that hurt so bad! 

At some point in my dream, someone told me about a couple of people who used to go to our church and they said that they were better off than us because they only had one or two sheep.

Now I'm awake, lying there in bed thinking, "What in the world"? God immediately spoke this to my heart, "Wolves come in sheep clothing. You are holding on to something that seems like a good thing, but it's not".

I've been praying all day to understand this dream better. I know God is trying to warn me about something, but I'm clueless as to what it may be. Any thoughts? Does God often speak to you in dreams? 

Be blessed my friends!

PROPHECIES

We have been blessed to receive four prophesies from a man who visits our church about twice a year. His name is Ed Traut and he is with Prophetic Life. To learn more about his ministry, you can just click HERE. He has spoken some amazing things over our future and has said things about our past that are very specific to us. One of the things he has spoken over our lives is that there would be a third child in the home. When he first said this, my mind was so shut off to even the idea of having another child, even though I had originally always wanted four children. Our second son was an emergency c-section and I was so afraid of having to go through a similar experience, that we had decided we were done having children.

It was Prophet Traut's word spoken over us that re-opened the door of thoughts about having another child. For the first time since our 2nd child's birth, I began to see that I had been living in fear for almost 4 years. I had allowed Satan to use the c-section to scare me out of God's will (and the desire of my own heart). I started praying to God, asking for forgiveness for allowing fear to control my life. I believe in the power of our words. The Bible says they can bring life or death. I believe that my words had brought death to the possibility of me having more children, so I prayed for a crop failure over those words. I also asked God that if it was His will for us to have more children, that He would not allow me to get pregnant if I would have to re-live a similar situation as my 2nd son's birth. 

It took many, many months of trying to conceive and believing God that He had healed me of endometriosis. I found out on September 15th, 2012 that we were expecting our third child who had been prophesied over us. I trusted God during the entire pregnancy and even though I ended up having another c-section, I think Satan just had it out for our special child. But God got the complete victory and I know this baby has a high calling on his life, as do my other two!

I say all of this because last night I began to think, "Hmm, we put 100% of our faith in the word we received from this man, and we fought for it". My pastor says that you have to fight for your prophecies and I believe that. Satan doesn't want to see us victorious. It took a lot of prayer and time, but we have seen the fruit of that word. So, I thought, "There's so much more that has been spoken over us, but we haven't been fighting for it like we fought for our baby". 

So today, I went back over our first prophecy. It is from July 18th, 2010 (almost 3 years ago). I re-read it to see what it is I'm actually supposed to be fighting for. Prophet Traut has never said too much about my future, but what he has said is so significant and it lines up completely with my giftings. So here's my new focus: I am to:

SPEAK THE WORD

PROPHESY

BE A WOMAN OF GOD BY USING MY PAST HURT TO MINISTER LIFE TO PEOPLE

So it's time for me to get back on track! These 3 things are the whole reason I first began this blog, long before I even met Prophet Traut. So please pray for me to keep my focus and let me know if there is any way I can be praying for you! 

Be blessed my friends!