LIFE IS A GIFT, LIVE IT

Me on my special day (wearing clothes
bought with my birthday money)!

Today is a special day to me. It's my birthday. I've not always considered this a special day. Once I even threatened my husband that if he did anything for me for my birthday, I'd be so mad at him. I didn't want to be older. Back then, I didn't like the fact that I was entering my 30's. I wanted to stay in my 20's forever! Over the years I have dealt with so many bouts of depression (usually from hormonal changes that sometimes come with having a baby). I thought I hated myself and my life. I've also had to deal with anxiety, just as recently as this past March. But you know what? I've had enough! After this last battle with anxiety (and it really is a battle because you have to fight with every tool that God gives you) I vowed that this year would be my greatest year yet! I even wrote down a countdown to this day and started marking the days off, looking forward to it with great expectation. I will no longer allow those demons of depression and anxiety to have control over my life. I created a summer bucket list to make sure that my family is spending fun, quality time together. No more wasteful summers! I have also started taking steps to ensure a healthier future for myself. The biggest thing I've done is give up pop. I haven't had any pop since March and I know that has helped me lose weight and I have way fewer headaches than I use to. I also walk almost every night that I get the chance. I'll do my part and let God handle the rest. 

Some unfortunate events in my life have led me to a new perspective on life. Sometimes that's what it takes to wake us up and snap us out of our pitiful life so we can see the beauty of life that God created for us.

My mom's story is one of those things that was a true game changer for me. She has been through so much this past year. It has broken my heart to know the pain that she's had to endure. She had unexplained, debilitating pain in her body for months. Doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. She was also repeating herself quite frequently. I was wondering if she had Alzheimer's or something. I'd listen to her tell me an entire story and then five minutes later, repeat it just as she did at the beginning of our conversation. Then one day, she went to the bathroom and she couldn't stand back up. She just lost the functionality of her legs. She had also fallen prior to this, but I guess no one realized how big of a deal it was. When my dad took her to the hospital, they found a mass in her head. Eventually she had the mass removed and we found out that it was the size of a tennis ball. Can you imagine? Every time I see my kids playing with a tennis ball now, I think about what my mom came through. Thankfully, it wasn't cancer. But even so, this was enough to jerk me out of my pity party and realize that life is a gift. We don't know what tomorrow holds.My mom's surgery went great, but since then, she's been dealing with blood clots. I know she's going to get through this! She's a woman of strength and she's setting such a good example for me and my kids. 

My grandmother, Dad, Me, and my mom
(and my brother and my youngest son in the background)

Another way that God has used my mom, is in my dad's life. Years ago, I was prophesied to by a man that I respect and I believe the words he's spoken over me and my family. He told me that my entire family will be healed and they will be saved, but I must leave it to God. I cannot save them. Wow, turns out that he was right! The night before my mom's surgery, my dad took my mom and my grandmother to revival at my grandma's church, and that night, my dad gave his life to the Lord. When I got this wonderful news, I was beyond amazed and excited over what God had done. I felt like this was a huge gift from God to me. Because honestly, if my dad had died before this night, I wasn't sure what would happen to his soul. Now I thank God almost daily for saving my dad because I can live with absolute peace that he will spend eternity with Jesus! 

About a week ago, my grandmother fell and broke her hip. She's had a rough road since the surgery, but I also have peace about this because God told me that it's not her time to go yet. She's going to come through this. I had the privilege to speak with her today and tell her all that God shared with me. Through her pain, God is using her as a witness to bring the rest of her family to Christ. I reminded her that they are still watching her and she needs to stay strong and continue fighting the good fight.

Another thing that I just can't ignore is what is going on in America and in our world. Again today, there were more deliberate police officer shootings. I want to cower back in fear, stay home, and keep my kids safe. But I know that isn't the answer. I know that just allows Satan to have victory. What I will do instead is to pray for peace and for God to have mercy on all of us. I will pray for the victims and their families. I will pray for the people who have caused the tragedies, and their families too. And I will go out, and I will live my life to the fullest. Because in the end, God already knows when my final day will be. Nothing I do will change that. But until then, I will chose joy, forgiveness, and love. I will chose to be thankful for this life that I've been so blessed to have. And I will continue sharing my stories, hoping that at least one person will be encouraged. Keep fighting the good fight my friends. You never know how your fight or your simple acts of kindness will change someone else's life. It might just impact their life beyond their walk on this earth!

Be blessed my friends!

RUTH AND NAOMI

I've been studying the book of Ruth and want to share with you what I've discovered. Did you know that there are similarities between Ruth and The Virtuous Woman from Proverbs 31?
                                   
                                                                          Reference in Ruth             Reference in Proverbs

• Her family commitment is noted by others.        2:11, 12                        31:11, 12
• She provided sustenance for her household.      2:14, 18                       31:15
• She gave attention to her appearance.               3:3, 5                           31:22
• Her selfless lifestyle drew praise from others.     2:11; 3:10; 4:15            31:28
• She committed herself to Yahweh as God.         1:16                             31:30

Here are some other key points that really stood out to me today:

Commitment is the foundation for every relationship, whether earthly or heavenly.

Ruth willingly accepted an unsettled future and bound herself by solemn oath not only to Naomi but also to the God of Israel. I think of all that Ruth left behind; her family, her home, friendships, her entire life as she knew it. It makes me think of my own life, how God called us to another state and we obeyed His voice. We didn't understand His plans at the time, but through our obedience, we have been so blessed by God. He gave us many new friends and we found out which of the people in our old state were in our lives for the long haul. It also brought me and my family closer together. Instead of stopping by for just a few minutes on their way home, now my parents come to visit and we fully cherish every single second we have together. We talk more and take lots of pictures. When we lived only a mile from them, it's like we just took our lives together for granted. 

Don't take your precious time together for granted!

Who are your true friends? They are the ones who are committed! They don't turn their backs on you and forget about you when you move away. They check in on your when they know you are feeling down or are sick. They make time for you! Sure, everyone is busy, but if someone tells you that they won't have time for you for a few months, you should probably re-evaluate that friendship. I've had to do this recently and it's a very painful experience, but what's even more painful is trying to hold on to a one-sided relationship. I'm not saying that you don't continue to reach out to that person and love on them, but make sure you are spending the bulk of your time on the ones who make the time for you.

Naomi

A couple of things stood out to me about Naomi, Ruth's Mother-in-Law.

1. Naomi models the way God works through a woman who moves forward, even in the midst of tragedy and trial, actively seizing every opportunity God provides rather than waiting passively for events to happen.
2. By focusing on the negative, Naomi became so bitter (Ruth 1:20) that she could not see the good and positive plans God was working on. 

Of course these two things happened at two different parts of Naomi's journey. The first one just made me think about what I would do if I lost my husband. I know I would be devastated and I just can't imagine trying to continue on with life as normal. She made the best of her situation and returned to God. She was such a role model for Ruth.

In the second example, Naomi just didn't feel worthy to be called Naomi, which means Pleasant. She felt like her suffering was God's punishment for her own sins. Do you ever feel like that? I know I sure have! So many times when I begged God for something and didn't see it manifest, or when I've had to deal with any other kind of suffering or tragedy, I would think God was mad at me and I deserved whatever happened. But that's not who God is! He's a God of mercy and grace. He loved us before we even knew Him. He doesn't sit around waiting to punish us. No, He's our daddy! He wants to give us His best. But first, we have to believe that! Yes, you may reap what you sow, but if you realize that you have done wrong, ask Him for forgiveness. He will cast your sins as far as the east is to the west.

I hope you have enjoyed this post. I hope to share more with you about whatever I am reading each morning so that you may be blessed by it too!

Be blessed my friends!

My Thoughts on the Tragedy in Connecticut

Today I reflect on yesterday's horrific tragedy where 20 children and 7 adults were killed in an elementary school in Connecticut by a man who also took his own life. It's really hard to gather all of my thoughts. My mind continually drifts off into prayer for those mommies and daddies who probably already had Christmas gifts for their children, but now they'll never get to see them open them up. I pray for the children and the rest of the families who will mourn the loss of the adults whose lives were also taken too soon. I fight back the tears and hug my children extra tight. I run my fingers through my little ones hair and kiss his cheek until he can't take anymore. 

I read post after post on social media pages of friends expressing their sadness and anger. Some posts really bother me; mainly the ones where people hope Satan is having a field day with the gunman's soul. Is that what Jesus wants? Is that what we really want? Heaven surely gained many sweet angels yesterday, but Jesus most likely grieved over the one loss soul. And the heaviness is weighing on my spirit too. What can we do differently to reach out to people before Satan completely wins the fight for their eternal lives? My heart is broken for the families who lost their loved ones yesterday and for Jesus who lost one of his sons.

I'm not defending the gunman at all, just trying to put on the mind of Christ. 
I am reminded of Ephesians 6:12 where the Bible says, "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."  This young man's mind was obviously taken over by the rulers of the darkness of this world and there are plenty of other people who are headed down the same path. What can we do? How can we stop this from happening again? Jesus, please protect your people from the enemy and help us to be your hands and feet to bring the loss back to you!

Be blessed my friends and squeeze your children and loved ones extra tight today!