FIRE IGNITED

Tonight I finished reading "make me a Legend: For The Dream of a Better Tomorrow" by Chuck Balsamo. Yay! I finished an entire book! That's a huge accomplishment for a mother of 4 who finds it hard to focus on anything longer than a few seconds. I started out reading this book because I've been on this quest for significance in my life. Too many times the title "Mother" just doesn't seem as spectacular as I hoped that it would. I finished this book with the understanding that I am not just a mother, I will be a legend to them, and hopefully many others. There's been this very small flame inside my soul for way too long. Maybe I wouldn't even call it a flame. Have you ever stood over the stove while you were fixing dinner, just so you could warm up a bit? Sadly, that's how powerful my "flame" has been for at least a couple of years. Looking at my spiritual life now with a new set of eyes makes me want to cry. How pathetic have I been! I'll get over it quickly though because I'm excited about the new spark that has hit my soul.

With prayer and faith, I will no longer worry about what others think of me. I will be the best me that I can be and if they don't like it, well, that's their loss. I have come to a point where I'm so tired of wasting my time, energies, and resources on those who could honestly care less about me. There was a chapter in this book about getting connected with the right people. I've struggled so much with wanting to please everyone and be friends with everyone. Tonight I'm feeling better about moving on without those who no longer belong in my circle, and refocusing my energies on those who truly care. Also, I wrote down a quote from the book that I will be meditating on (replaced with the word I), "This is where I overcome my fear of people - godless people, faithless people, and intimidating, self-righteous people." I have been holding so much back, out of fear of what others might think of me. So many things that I wanted to say, and should've said, but didn't. I held my tongue as to not offend someone, while at the same time I was swallowing down words that would've defended my Savior. No more! My eternal soul and your eternal soul matter more to me now. I will preach the gospel and spread His truth with the world. I let go of my fears. Oh so many fears!

I want to cry tonight, but the tears just won't come. Perhaps because I know how hard it will be to stop them from flowing. As I look back over the last few years, I've somehow, ever so slowly, drifted so far away from Jesus compared to where I was. My husband and I had stopped praying together. I can't even remember the last time we prayed together as a family. How embarrassing to admit this to you. I stopped writing. I stopped singing. I stopped serving. How on earth did this happen? Well, I know how it happened. It's exactly how Satan had planned it to happen many years ago. But I have news for him! I'm running back to Jesus and His arms are open wide. I feel His embrace surrounding me now. Angels are rejoicing! Look! There is a flame now, where once there was only the feeling of heat.

Perhaps the drifting away all began when I started out on the quest for more significance. I started searching in other places. I started envying other's lives instead of being content with the wonderful life that God has blessed me with. I wanted more for MY life. Perhaps if I started out asking God what more I could do for HIM, then I wouldn't have gotten so off track.

Tonight I will sleep peacefully knowing that I am making a difference in my boy's lives. We will get back to praying together. We will get back to consistent church services and I won't just be a bystander. I will set the example for my boys. I will make the sacrifices and be a servant for God's kingdom. I trust God to use me in ways that I never imagined. I will get back to writing (starting with this very post). I will finish a book someday. I will use all of the hurt and heartache that I've endured to encourage others and to help bring them out of bondage. I am tired of playing it safe! God has so much more for us and I've gotten in the way. It's like He stepped aside for these few years and said, "OK, have it your way." He was always there with me. When I was searching for more, He had His arms around me, trying to show me that He is the more. He's all I ever needed. When I went through painful trials, He tried to reach out and rescue me, but I wouldn't listen. I prayed to Him, but I couldn't hear Him through all the distractions that Satan had created in my life.

I believe that the turning point (a major shift) for me came when Chuck Balsamo wrote in his book to ask God to point out anything in my life that may be holding me back. Whew! I had to stop and take a close look a that. I prayed about it and then as I continued to read the book, God showed me more. I'm going to share my list with you as a bold step of faith. I feel in my heart that this list may resonate with you. It won't all be the same, but maybe very similar. I'm listing these in order that they came to my mind. See how it starts out looking like pretty minor issues, but then God pointed out deeper issues in my heart.

1. Cookie Jam Oh how embarrassed I am to admit this. In case you didn't know, this is a game that I play on my tablet. I'm on level one thousand and something. I've been playing it for less than a year. I've wasted so much time just spacing out and playing this game, when I could've been using that time to draw closer to the Lord. There are so many better uses of my time. 
2. FaceBook Raise your hand if you're with me on this one. Scroll, scroll, scroll...Wow! How did I just sit here for half an hour looking into everyone else's lives? Meanwhile I'm feeling sorry for myself and feeling like an inadequate mother and wife because Super Mom just posted again about her glorious world that she lives in. 
3. Anger (deep breath) This is so hard for me to admit. I'm so ashamed to bring it to the surface and share it with you. But I know I'm not alone. I've been working on this for years. I know this has gotten in the way of God moving in my life. Tonight I surrender all anger over to Him. I know I will still have outburst, but I also know that He is alive and working in me. All things are possible and this is one of the mountains that I expect to be moved so God has a straighter path to my heart.
4. Bitterness This issue came about during some hurt that I've experienced in the last few years. It's a newer feeling that I hate to carry around. I've tried to let go, but it rises back up and rears it's ugly head at me from time to time. What I've learned is that there is no trying harder here. I've tried, and tried, and tried. What needs to happen is God's transformation in my heart and I believe that I'm on the doorstep of this happening. 
5. Other's Opinions of me This! This has been a major setback for me in SO many areas of my life. Chuck mentioned in his book that unlike Jesus, we seem to need our world to like us, enjoy us, approve of us, and celebrate us! Did you catch that? Unlike Jesus! We were put on this earth to please our Heavenly Father and to model His example. His opinion should be the only one that truly matters! I'm sharing all of this with you right now because I know that I am doing the work of my Father, so it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. This is a HUGE step for me!
6. Fear Fear has held me captive for way too long! Fear of bees, tornadoes, something happening to me, something happening to our children or my husband, fear of going broke, starving, fear of letting people down, fear of what others think, fear that I'm not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough. The list goes on and on and on. Why? God's word tells us that worry won't change anything. And this brings me to the last thing that God put on my heart.
7. Lack of Trust in God Tonight God showed me that all of my fears are due to a lack of trust in Him. Wow! The one who created the entire universe and keeps it all functioning every single day. The one who made me and you. There's no reason to not give Him my whole heart and fully trust Him. I know He wants to give me complete peace and rest that's only found in Him. All I have to do is let Him!

Tonight I saw myself as the woman in this skit. With each character that tries luring her away from Jesus, I pictured all of these issues that I just mentioned that have been holding me back from Him. Thank God that I didn't go down many of these terrible paths. But I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I didn't stop long enough to listen to that still, small voice inside of me. That voice that was pulling me back to Him. He was the voice!

I'm so sorry God! Help me to trust You more! Break theses heavy chains that have had me bound so tightly. Fan the flame and make it grow! Give me more opportunities to share Your love with others and help me to be bold. Help me and my family to be Your hands and feet. Help us to bring thousands of others to You. Break the chains that bind Your people. Break the mold off of their eyes and make them pause long enough to see how much Satan has been distracting them and slowly making them drift away from You. Help Your people to rise up again. Give them back their backbone and their voices! Draw them out of the dark places and light their souls on fire so that they will be the light to others. In Jesus name I pray! Amen!

HOPE

For years I've felt God's calling on my life to write. But lately, I've been so busy raising my children that I'm purely exhausted by the time I get them down for a nap or in bed for the night. I'm not sure how other mom bloggers do it. When I'm not flat out exhausted, I'm busy taking care of other things that need my attention. Lately I've felt a stronger desire to start writing again, but I can't even think of anything that I feel is worth writing. I'm sure that is Satan's desire for me, to feel inadequate. But when I came back to my blog today after months of being away from it, I discovered something very interesting. YOU'RE STILL HERE! I still have people visiting, even though I haven't written since April. So to you, I say THANK YOU! Thank you for instilling hope into my life again; hope that someone out there really does want to hear what God puts on my heart. 

And now, I pray that I can give back some of that hope that you've given me.

Today I feel like there's someone who will read this that just needs to know that life gets a little crazy for everyone at different points in life. It's not just you or me. 

My favorite sign in our house.
It's a constant reminder to me that this is not the end!

Dear mom reading this, you will get through this stage of life and it will happen SO fast! Our oldest is 16 years old. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was holding him in my arms. Our baby is already over a year old. I no longer have to rock him to sleep and he's sleeping through most nights. He's starting to play a little more on his own. It will get easier! Those sleepless nights and endless feedings only last for a short while, but if you're right in the middle of it, it seems like it will go on forever. But one day, you'll actually miss it. I promise! Everyone told me that and I didn't believe them. Our baby is the last baby we can have, so it's so bitter sweet to watch him grow up.

Dear single mom, I've been there too. I can't count the times that I cried out to God and wondered why I had to do it all on my own and why my son didn't have a dad like he deserved. But God had a perfect plan there too. I just had to be patient and wait for God's timing. I wish I could've done it with a better attitude. I got downright mad at God for feeling like He abandoned me. But now I can see reasons for Him making me wait. He had the perfect husband for me and the best dad to my son. God was just waiting for me to take my focus off of finding a man, and fixing my eyes completely on Him. Once I finally did that, I met my husband only 6 months later.

If you're a woman who has been told she can't have kids, I can relate to that too. I'm very blessed to have my 4 boys because there was a time that a doctor told me that he didn't know if I would ever have any children. I had stage 3 endometriosis at just 16 years old. How my heart ached when I saw others with their children. And it really bothered me when I saw people who didn't treat their children well. I wondered why God would give them children and not me. I know He has a plan for those families too, but it seemed so unfair. I ask that if you are in this stage, trying to have children, please try to put ALL of your trust in the Lord. He has great plans for you! Jeremiah 29:11 ~ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I hope this post has spoken to you and given you hope. No matter what you are going through, God really sees you and cares for you. Even if you're not a woman and your struggles have nothing to do with parenting, He cares about you. You will get through these hard times!

Be blessed my friends. 

EXCHANGE FEAR FOR FAITH

Once again I'm exploring what life would be like if I exchanged my fears for faith. How would I feel and how could it change my life? Why does fear have so much control over my life? I'm not talking about rational fears, like those that would keep me from running out in front of a car, but rather, the fears of following God and trusting Him wherever He may lead me. I know that He wants to free me from the chains of fear that have kept me bound. I know that He doesn't want me to always be stressing over what I should be doing with my life and worry about being good enough. He wants me to throw perfection out the window and just trust Him! This life was meant to live!

Here are some ways my life would change if I could just let go of the fears:

• I would go outside more during the summer and enjoy being with my kids. They would also have more sports opportunities. You see, I'm severely allergic to bees, so I spend most of my summer stuck inside the house. I'm absolutely terrified of bees. And while yes, they technically could kill me, I know that I need to trust God completely with my life. He's kept me safe from the bees for almost 24 years, why would He stop now?
• I would get on airplanes and take more trips to discover more of this beautiful earth God created.
• My kids would feel safer because they wouldn't be constantly feeding off of my own fears. 
• I would go to church more. Ouch! Yes, it's true, the fear of my kids getting sick from being around a ton of other children, often keeps me away during the winter time. This is a hard fear to manage, since we are currently dealing with almost 3 weeks of sickness, and I'm pretty sure it came from the last Sunday we were all at church. I feel so much guilt over this one. I know it's completely not what God would want.
• I would not allow my nerves to control me when we have a severe weather forecast.
• I would sleep better at night, instead of worrying about my children. Sometimes I just lay there and wonder if they are breathing okay since I haven't heard any noise on the monitor. This has been a long term fear of mine that goes back to when my cousin's baby died of SIDS, almost 18 years ago.
• I would sing again (in front of others)
• I might even start my own business again.
• I would let my house go a little bit more and not worry about what others would think. This would give me more precious time with my kids.
• I would finish that book I started writing years ago!

What about you? How would your life change if you could start letting your faith take over, instead of being controlled by fear? I would love to hear your thoughts!

Be blessed my friends!

LESSONS FROM THE MAN IN THE RAIN

Sunday as we were driving to church in the morning, it was raining lightly and the forecast called for heavier showers. For the first time in a long time, we were actually early for church. I noticed a man up ahead of us on the left walking through the rain with no umbrella. I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me and telling me to give that man one of our umbrellas. We only had one in the car, but I knew we'd be fine without one. I pointed out the man to my husband and asked him if he thought we should try to give him one of our umbrellas. Sadly, this world that we live in makes me second guess a lot of things. In the back of my mind I'm thinking stupid things like, "I hope he doesn't pull out a gun on us." I could tell my husband was a little hesitant, maybe even a little annoyed because he knew he would be the one doing the talking. I'm not really sure what he was thinking, but he agreed that we could try. 

I made a u-turn at the next intersection and we made our way back to the man. We pulled off to the side of the road as he was walking towards us. My husband rolled down the window and asked if he would like an umbrella. The man appeared to be somewhere around 50 years old. He had long grey hair and was wearing a long sleeve shirt and blue jeans. He smiled and kindly said, "No, that's okay." We asked if he was sure and he said yeah. So my husband said okay and possibly something else as we drove away. 

As we drove off I fought back tears. There were so many thoughts and emotions going on with me. Why didn't he take the umbrella. I hope my husband wasn't embarrassed. Maybe we just made his day, because someone was so kind to even try to help him out. My mind kept pondering over and over why he didn't accept it, if God truly did put it on my heart to give it to him. My husband suggested that maybe God was just testing my obedience with a smaller thing so that He knows we will be obedient with bigger things.

For days I just couldn't get this situation out of my mind. I prayed about it and asked God for answers. I felt like He was trying to teach me a lesson, but I wasn't sure what the lesson was. I'm still trying to figure it out, but I do believe it's not just one simple lesson. There was so much to be taught here. 

Whenever God prompts you to do something for others, remember these facts:

1. You reap what you sow. "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." ~ Galatians 6:7 (KJV) Perhaps God was seeing if I would try to sow a good seed when I thought this man was in need, so that the next time I am in need, He can speedily send someone to help me. 

Here are a couple more Bible verses that back up the principle of reaping and sowing: 

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." ~ Luke 6:38 (NIV)

God "will repay each person according to what they have done." ~ Romans 2:6 (NIV)

2. By being obedient to God, you are not denying Him. Regardless of whether or not the other person receives what you are trying to give, whether its a gift, a kind word, or even just a wave or a smile, you can rejoice knowing that YOU did what God wanted you to do. "They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good." ~ Titus 1:16 (NIV)

3. If you have children, they are paying attention. I feel like we taught our children a valuable lesson that day. As I turned the car around, our six year old knew something was going on. He asked us what we were doing. I explained to him that we were just going to try to show God's love by seeing if the man wanted an umbrella because he was walking alone in the rain. 

4. Expect NOTHING in return! Luke 6:34-36 (ESV) says, "If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful."

5. You may be entertaining angels. "Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it." ~ Hebrews 13:2 Wow, what a thought! The man in the rain could've been an angel! That gives me chills to think about. I cannot make this stuff up. It's right there in God's word. 

6. Pride leads to destruction. Last but certainly not least, remember to remain humble and to not boast about what you have done. The Bible says in Proverbs 16:18, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."

Several days after the incident regarding the man walking in the rain, I was talking to my husband again about what God might be trying to teach me. The very second that I stopped talking, I turned up the radio and heard these words in a song for the very first time: 

"It's like I'm standing in the rain 

and you offer me a raincoat. 

But I would rather stand there being wet 

than take the handout. 

What's wrong with me? 

You said, you've always got your hands out."

So then I started thinking about the man even more. I wonder if he's a broken man in need of a Savior. Could he have possibly smiled at us, but asked himself what's wrong with him as we drove away? I just hope that no matter what God was trying to teach us or that man, that Christ was glorified through that little act of obedience. 

If you would like to hear the full song that I heard on the radio, just click on the video.

Be blessed my friends!

OVERCOMING THE STORMS

This was the view from my back porch almost exactly 4 years ago to the day. I believe we were under a tornado watch and I had been freaking out over the weather for several days prior to it even becoming bad. This looks like a tornado, but it's actually a wall cloud (the front line of the storm). I remember this day very vividly because it was just like every other time that we were expecting bad weather. Days before the storm, while it was still beautiful outside, I would constantly look up the forecasts and make myself sick over the possibilities. To say that I was afraid of storms would be a huge understatement. It paralyzed me. For days on end I couldn't eat much. I would make several trips to the bathroom because my nerves took over. I literally made myself sick. It was embarrassing. I know most people wouldn't understand. I couldn't even understand.

I prayed constantly. I cried out to God to take this fear away. I knew that worrying was a sin and I so desperately wanted to be delivered from it. I would constantly repeat my favorite Bible verse, 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."  What I didn't realize at the time is that even though I still felt overcome with fear, God was working in my life. Each storm that came my way was getting easier and easier for me to handle.

Fast forward to today. I'm home alone with the kids and we have a tornado watch. We've had torrential rain and lots of lightening and thunder. An amazing thing has happened. I didn't run to my neighbor's house. This is something I usually do because I have always felt safer just being around other people. But that's not even the most amazing part. The best part is that I had peace; the kind of peace that the Bible talks about in Philippians 4:7, "and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

I write this post to encourage others who are dealing with fear of any sort. Whether you are dealing with fear of bad weather or other storms that life brings, I pray that you will experience the peace that I have found through Christ. Yes, it took many years, but I have such victory and you can too! Keep on leaning on God. Say 2 Timothy 1:7 out loud over and over until it resonates in your soul. Don't give up! If you need prayer, it would be an honor to pray for you. Just message me in the comments or at BibleMomma99@gmail.com.

Be blessed my friends!

The Lion

This morning I had a very prophetic dream. I can barely remember any of the actual details of the dream, except that there was a lion with it's mouth open and I heard these words, "The lion's mouth is never shut". When I woke up, those words just kept running through my head. The lion's mouth is never shut. The lion's mouth is never shut. Then suddenly I felt within my spirit, something telling me that God is the lion, and His mouth is never shut because He is always looking out for me. He is always fighting the enemy off on my behalf. The Lion's mouth is never shut!

http://wallpapertags.com/images/roaring-lion-44006

Wow! What a vision! I thought about this more and more. And I feel like God is just trying to remind us that no matter what things appear like, no matter how broken your life may seem, He is watching and waiting. His mouth is open wide and He is attacking the enemy without you even realizing it. He has saved you over and over. He has kept you from car wrecks and other bad situations that you didn't even see coming. You have no idea what almost happened. He's working in the background, when you think He has forgotten about you. So, as hard as it may seem, please try to focus on the unseen instead of what you see with your own eyes. Praise God for bringing you through all the storms that you've gone through. And praise Him for bringing you through the ones you knew nothing about!

Be blessed my friends!

FINDING JOY IN THE LITTLE THINGS

It's so funny to me how often I hear the words, "I could never do that". It's usually mentioned when talking about being a stay at home mom or especially homeschooling my kids. I never thought I could do it either, but God doesn't call the qualified. He calls those who will listen to Him and then He equips them with everything they need. This has been an 8 year journey for us and it's never really been easy. But God never promised easy. He did promise that He would never leave or forsake me and that He'll never give me more than I can bare. Some days I question Him on that. I wonder, "Do you really think I can handle all of this God?". This week has been a perfect example. We have no extra money right now. We have a leak in our roof and our heat and air completely stopped working. Our 6 year old has been having major behavior issues and I can't figure out exactly what's going on with him. The baby wants no one but me. On one hand I really love that, but on the other hand, my back hurts and sometimes I just need a break. I could go on and on about other issues going on right now, but I'll spare you the details. It's just been rough!

I've tried to make things better. I've added more games to my 6 year old's school work and I tried helping our teenager with his science project. The only thing that got me was a blister on my finger from the glue gun.

Here he is working on a glider:

Today was the worst day of all. It's almost 4 in the evening and I haven't really done any school with the 6 year old. I had such a stressful morning that I decided to just get us all ready and head to Chick-fil-a. I just had to get out of the house. I think the kids needed it too.

Here's a couple of pictures I took of the youngest two in the playroom:

And so here I am, back at the house feeling so unaccomplished. I feel like I'm barely surviving. So when you think that you can't do it, just remember, it's not all rose petals and daisies. Some days I think that I can't do it either. I'm sure no matter what your life consists of, you too have days where you think that you just can't go on.

Oh look! While I was busy creating this post, something did get accomplished. My son finished his glider!

It's things like this that helps me get through these tough days! It's these little things that are so huge to me and bring me so much joy. Thank you to my oldest son for working hard on your own to accomplish what needs to be done. 

Be blessed my friends!

I AM NOT PERFECT, BUT THAT'S OKAY

Already FIVE whole days have gone by since my last post! I just don't understand how to make the time to write. Currently my husband is holding our baby; the child who won't let us put him down lately without screaming and crying and throwing himself backwards on the floor. He is dealing with a bug bite on his ankle that made his ankle and foot swell up pretty big and turn a reddish-purple color. He's also dealing with teething and bowel problems. And aside from all of that, he's definitely a momma's boy. I usually don't mind. I love cuddling with him. But too often, I just can't. I have two other boys who need my attention and help with school work. Not to mention housework and other responsibilities. Still, I try holding him as often as I can because I know that these days are passing by so quickly and soon enough he won't want to be held. 

A pic from a better school day!

Today felt like a complete fail, besides the fact that we finished all of our homeschool work (even if it was around 7:30 in the evening). 

Here's just a bit of how the day went: 

We got a late start, I changed TEN poopy diapers, all 3 boys were acting up in one way or another, I never got my shower or even got to wipe yesterday's makeup off of my face. I'm still sitting here in my pajamas at 9:30 in the evening. I had a major headache and felt tired most of the day. I'm sad to admit that I raised my voice much more than I should have. I'm really working on trying to be a gentle parent. Today was definitely a challenge for me in that area!

On days like today I really need God to speak to me in a loud, clear voice because it's just too noisy to hear His whispers. I am a perfectionist. I'm not perfect, but I expect things to be great. I hold myself to very high expectations. I've struggled in comparing myself to the Proverbs 31 woman and today I felt very far from being that woman I strive to be! Thankfully, as I sat down eating dinner, I read something that really stood out to me. What I read today was this, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." Jesus said this in Matthew 5:8. Thank God that He didn't say, "Blessed are the perfect." Instead, blessed are those who seek after His heart and desire to make good choices. Blessed are those who walk with Him and try to apply His Word to their daily lives.

God knows my heart! He knows that He means the world to me. He knows that I strive to be the best mother and wife that I can be. He knows my deep desires to be a gentle, patient mommy to my boys. He knows that even on days like today, when I didn't make the time to study my Bible, that I still love Him and want to walk in His ways. Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves that we are not perfect! But we are pure in heart! That's all that matters! Jesus was the only perfect one and where we fall short, He fills in the gaps and offers His grace and mercy.

I'm so glad that His mercies are new every morning. All I can do is to try to not expect perfection and continue to draw near to Him. I'm looking forward to a new start tomorrow.

Be blessed my friends!

WRITING

God has convicted me yet again about my writing. Most of the time I feel like I'm just writing for myself. It's something that I really enjoy doing, when I can find the time. My time lately has been taken up by homeschooling, taking care of the house, making sure bills are paid, and chasing after the baby. He's in to everything these days! 

But God keeps whispering to me that my writing really isn't just for me. Someone out there needs to hear what I say. They need the encouragement. They need to know that they are not alone. So here again I find myself at the computer, asking God what it is that He wants me to write. 

I've been studying Proverbs this entire month and ironically our preacher been preaching on Proverbs too. I love it when God does stuff like that! I've learned a lot and will probably do the Proverbs study again next month, but be more diligent in sharing my thoughts with you. That is, unless God takes me in a new direction with my writing. I've also been reading through the old testament and I'm currently in the book of 1 Kings.

I'm a tenderhearted person who has gone through a lot of changes in my life. I wear my heart on my sleeve, so you'll probably see more about my personal struggles. I hope that when I share my heart, you won't judge me. I'm human just like you and I will share my heart in hopes of helping others.

So, until next time (hopefully in the very near future)......

Be blessed my friends!

A LESSON FROM THE ANT, PROVERBS CHAPTER 6

Looking at the lessons from an ant (vs. 6-11) makes me realize what I need to do to make my homeschool run more effectively. It's not going to be an easy task because I'm not a morning person. 

So far homeschool has been mostly easy, but I think that will change tomorrow. You see, I started with my 1st grader on Monday and had my oldest son watch the baby while we did our work. The same happened on Tuesday. Today was my husband's day off, and my teen's 1st day of ninth grade. So, today I had my husband home to watch the baby. Tomorrow will be my 1st day where I will be teaching both of my older boys AND have the baby to take care of. This just isn't going to work out if I try to do it all at once, but I really want my kids to have their school work finished before the public school kids get home.

So...I've decided that I need to wake up early and get started on school work with my 1st grader and then have the rest of the time to focus on my high schooler while also taking care of the baby. *sigh* I just dread the thought of waking up earlier. But, here's a part of Proverbs 6:6-11 (MSG), 

A LESSON FROM THE ANT

"You lazy fool, look at an ant. Watch it closely; let it teach you a thing or two. Nobody has to tell it what to do. All summer it stores up food; at harvest it stockpiles provisions. So how long are you going to laze around doing nothing? How long before you get out of bed? A nap here, a nap there, a day off here, a day off there, sit back, take it easy - do you know what comes next? Just this: You can look forward to a dirt-poor life, poverty your permanent house guest!"

I may have to revisit this scripture often to help me remember the lessons learned from an ant.

Be blessed my friends!

Proverbs Study, Chapter 4

Let's take a look at Proverbs 4:23-27 from the Message Bible.  It says, 

"Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that's where life starts. Don't talk out of both sides of your mouth; avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip.

Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions. Watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth before you. Look neither right nor left; leave evil in the dust."

In all of chapter 4, this is what stood out to me the most because I absolutely can't stand gossip and people who lie. I try to teach my children that even a tiny lie is just as bad as a huge lie. It's all sin! I'm not perfect by any means and I sometimes find myself saying things to other people that I realize later I probably shouldn't have said. I then have to repent, asking God to forgive me and then I have to make things right with the one whom I was talking about. When we are talking about other people, to other people in a non-edifying way, it's gossip. 

As Christians we are called to build each other up, not tear each other down. When you go behind someones back and you are talking about them, you are tearing them down. Even if they don't know about it! 

Let's focus on how God tells us to live in these verses! Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions. When someone starts talking about someone else, RUN in the other direction! Okay, maybe not run, but make up some excuse that you need to leave and then get out of there as fast as you can. I'm trying to practice this more and more. I know a lot of people don't even realize they are gossiping. But when I recognize it, I become very uncomfortable because I know it displeases God. 

Continue to keep your eyes on God and turn away from evil and He will make your path smooth and wide!

Be blessed my friends!

Proverbs Study Chapter 3

Chapter 3 of the book of Proverbs is an awesome chapter to me. I have underlined and highlighted many points throughout the years that have helped me along this life's journey. 

The verses highlighted below couldn't have come at a better time for me. I was having some relationship issues the night that I read this. I was crying because I just don't understand why certain people treat me the way they do. They must not know the real me! I'm such a giving, caring person. I would do anything for anyone, yet one person in particular who I thought was my friend has shown me absolutely nothing in return. I don't give in expectancy to get back. But when you've been trying to work on a relationship for years and it's always seemed very one-sided, it's really hard to understand. So these verses immediately popped out at me:

God says to just trust Him. Don't try to figure it all out. Acknowledge Him in everything that you do and He will direct your paths. I know that my God is bigger than the situations I find myself in. And I know that by continuing to love this particular person (because that's what Jesus would want me to do), her heart and eyes will someday be opened to the truth about who I am. We don't have to be best friends. She doesn't even have to consider me her friend at all. All I care about is that she sees Christ through me. She can never say that I failed to try or that I was a bad person.

The next set of verses that speaks deeply to me is about giving. I actually have it written on an index card and I carry it around in my Bible to remind me to always give God my best, whether it's financially or physically.

When I really think about this, it touches my heart at the works God has done in my life. My barns really are full. I'm constantly trying to "de-clutter". I just have too much stuff. But really, all of that stuff is a blessing from the Lord! And why? It's because my husband and I have always tried our best to honor Him with our possessions and our first fruits. We are faithful tithers, even when that tithing money could go to pay a bill that we otherwise don't have the money for. God has always been faithful to meet our needs. We have had many years of struggling, but He has always brought us through and moved us on to bigger and better things. I challenge you that if you don't already tithe, test God, try it, see what happens in your life. It may be a huge sacrifice, but just think of the sacrifices that Jesus paid for us. Our giving a tenth of our income will never compare!

Lastly, there is one other group of verses that speaks to me so much that I also have it written on an index card too. I keep this one right next to my bed and I look at it often.

Proverbs 3:24-25 says,

"When you lie down, you will not be afraid;

Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. 

Do not be afraid of sudden terror, 

Nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes."

These verses just remind me that no matter what is going on at night, God is watching over me, keeping me safe. I have much more peaceful sleep when I remember that he tells me to lie down and not be afraid. He promises me sweet sleep! 

I hope you are enjoying this study on Proverbs! Feel free to chime in and let me know what you are learning.

Be blessed my friends!

Proverbs Chapter 2

*This study is already proving challenging for me. I have been keeping up with my reading, but not my writing and in keeping in touch with you. This started on Saturday when a storm knocked our internet out. Service wasn't restored until today (our 1st day back to homeschooling). So, I'm going to back up to Chapter 2 and try to catch up in sharing my thoughts with you.*

Chapter 2

Today I want to share with you the verses that meant the most to me. Something immediately stood out to me in chapter 2 and that is the 3 "ifs" mentioned in verses 1-5 (NKJ). The "ifs" in these verses show the importance of our choices. We are instructed to do our part in seeking wisdom in order to reap the wonderful, promised results.

My son, if you receive my words,

And treasure my commands within you, 

So that you incline your ear to wisdom,
And apply your heart to understanding;

Yes, if you cry out for discernment,

And lift up your voice for understanding, 

If you seek her as silver,

And search for her as for hidden treasures;

Then you will understand the fear of the Lord,

And find the knowledge of God.

Here's a side note in my Bible that helps us understand more about the Fear of the Lord that these verses say we will understand if we do the things He has told us to do.

"Fear of the Lord" is the foundation for wisdom, the prerequisite for obedience, and the accompaniment of love (Deut. 10:12). "Fear" in this sense indicates submissive reverence and not stark terror. To reject this awe, which inspires respectful obedience, is to determine to go your own way (Prov. 1:31) and turn away from God's way (Is. 55:8).

The promised results of fearing Him are goodness, riches, honor and satisfaction (Ps. 31:19), a right relationship with others (Lev. 25:17), long life (Deut. 6:2), mercy (Ps. 103:17), strong confidence (Prov. 14:26), and God's constant attention (Ps. 34:7).

I don't know about you, but I sure want all of those promises. That is a huge reason why I try so hard to read my Bible daily and listen for God's voice in all that I do. 

Be blessed my friends!

Proverbs Study, Day 1

Proverbs Chapter 1 Study

I have to admit that it was hard for me to dive into this first day. I read chapter 1 in the NKJ version and the MSG, just trying to get more out of it. 

Here are the main points that I walked away with from this chapter:

1. Start with God. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Vs. 7
2. Remember what your parents taught you.
3. Don't follow the wrong crowd. It will lead to destruction.
4. Don't wait for a catastrophe to strike to call out to the Lord. Vs. 25-28
5. Listen to the Lord and you will be safe. vs. 33

Two verses stood out to me the most. "My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother." ~ Proverbs 1:8 (NKJ) Perhaps this one stood out because I am raising 3 boys and trying to get them to understand how much more wisdom their dad and I have than they do right now. I think this is one that children should definitely learn. 

The second verse that stood out was the very last one, Proverbs 1:33 (NKJ), "But whoever listens to me will dwell safely, And will be secure, without fear of evil." If we would just listen to Him! I recently wrote a post called "Wisdom Waits". It basically sums up the fact that God has been trying to tell me something for over 2 years and I just wasn't listening to Him. Thank God for His mercy and grace!

How did you do with our fist day? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Be blessed my friends!

STUDYING PROVERBS THROUGH AUGUST

Today is the first day of August, a month that has 31 days, just like the book of Proverbs. Proverbs are brief but vivid statements taken from everyday life and used as practical guidelines for successful living. Please join me on this 31 day journey of studying the book of Proverbs. I may not post on the blog every day, but readers will be sharing their thoughts on my facebook page, Bible Momma. Please like my page and check back daily if you would like to join us and share your thoughts on what you are learning as you read the Bible with us.

GOD'S LITTLE REMINDER

God’s Little Reminder

This is one of the many songs I have written.
Finished on March 12, 2008 while waiting on the birth of our 2nd son.

I was down and out

all worried about

all the bills we had to pay

I wondered how we'd make it

in this little home

with a baby on the way

I hung my head down

and I started to cry

All I could do is ask

God...why?

In a moment when

all hope seemed gone

that tiny little baby

started kicking up a storm

and I knew right then...

that it was God's little reminder

to cling to HIM a little bit tighter

   And He will see us through

Six years later

he overheard me talkin

on the phone one night

saying I was a horrible mom

and a worthless wife

I hung up the phone

and I started to cry

All I could do is ask

God...why?

In a moment when

all hope seemed gone

my little boy hugged me

and asked, "mom what's wrong"

And I knew right then...

that he was God's little reminder

to cling to HIM a little bit tighter

   And He will see us through

   Yeah, He will see us through

Thank God for little reminders.