I will be the first to admit that I am very guilty of being a control freak. I won't let anyone else do the laundry in our home (which I'm sure my husband doesn't mind). It's an extremely rare occasion that I will be a passenger in the car with anyone, including my hubby. I feel really sick if I'm not driving, but when you get to the heart of the matter, it's because I have absolutely no control. It's also a very rare occasion that I will allow my children to ride with anyone other than myself. The few times that I have allowed this to happen, I have to check in and make sure they made it to their destination. I could go on and on about the many areas of life that I feel like I have to be in complete control.
My desire to control everything was brought to my attention yesterday during my alone time with the Lord. I was reading Deuteronomy, chapter one. I paused to read the side note that said, "The people rationalized their unbelief by using the safety of their children as an excuse for not entering the land at the Lord's command. However, God was more concerned for the children than they were; therefore, He promised that the children would enter the land.".
I had to stop dead in my tracks and repent for all the times I thought I was in control. And I prayed, "Lord, please don't let my ignorance make me miss out on Your full blessings that You have planned for me. I know that You love my children even more than I do. And now I realize that even if I keep them home with me, that doesn't mean that I can shelter them from all bad things. Help me to hand over the reins that I so tightly grip. Help me to trust You more with my children and with my own life. I pray God that I will get to walk through to the promise land alongside my children. In Jesus name, Amen.".
You and I must deal with the fact that we are not in control. He already has our days planned out, from the beginning to the moment when we take our final breath. There is nothing we can do to change that. I will admit that I often have thoughts of dying. I'm not afraid to die. I know where I'm going and I can't wait to meet Jesus face to face. But I fear what life would be like for my children without having a mommy. Today I have a little more peace about this issue because the reality is that God has a plan for all of us. His Word says He'll never leave us nor forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6). If something ever does happen to me, I know I can rest assured that the Lord will work it all out for His good and He will take care of my children.
Be blessed my friends!