Monday, November 19, 2012

Letters to My Baby ~ #2

I keep telling people that this pregnancy has been much easier than the other two, but now I'm starting to rethink that. I had felt that it was easier because the morning sickness hasn't been as bad. I've only thrown up once, but I'm pretty sure that was because of a virus. Although the morning sickness has been minimal, I feel like I just can't catch my breath from other kinds of illness. I've had that yucky virus, two types of infections and now I've been fighting a cold for four days and I'm only 13 weeks (tomorrow). Which brings me to a very exciting piece of news...that means tomorrow is the beginning of my 2nd trimester! YAY! This pregnancy seems to be flying by and I couldn't be happier about that. There are too many friends and family around me who are getting to hold their newborns in their arms. It makes me day dream about you even more. I can't wait to see what you look like. Will you have light or dark hair? There's no doubt in my mind that you will have hair and I think you'll have plenty of it. When you are first born, I picture you with a head full of dark hair.

I've had 6 total pregnancy dreams so far. With your brothers, I only had boy dreams, so I knew without a doubt that they would be boys. With you, I've dreamed twice that I miscarried (horrible, scary nightmares is more fitting), then I had 2 girl dreams and more recently I dreamed that you were a boy. The main thing I remember about one of the girl dreams is that you had something special about your eyes. They were the brightest, crystal blue color that I've ever seen in my life. I thought something was wrong with you, but when I woke up, God gave me peace and told me that it's a good thing. You have a special calling on your life. I can only imagine the impact you are going to make on this world.

Here's what happened in my last dream: I went in for my ultrasound and I didn't want to find out what you were because we are going to have a party and reveal it there. I hadn't told the doctor this yet, and I looked to my left and saw this printout that was all blue and it said, "It's a boy!!!". I pretended like I didn't see that and I was hoping it was just left there from the last person. Then I told the doctor our plans to not find out. He left the room and another technicion came in. She immediately zoomed in on your private area and I saw that you were a boy. She then verified that what I was looking at was indeed boy parts. I became upset and said, "I can only produce boys.". I was really upset because I didn't have a boy name picked out yet. When I awoke from the dream, I was so convinced that I was having a boy. It took me quite a while to realize that it was all just a dream.

So now, I'm thoroughly confused as to what your gender might be, but I still have a really strong feeling that you are a girl. Everything is just so different this time. Either way, you are a special gift from God and I am so incredibly blessed to have you in my life.

P.S. ~ Your smallest big brother has called you a he from day one! He really wants a little brother. Your oldest brother wants a sister this time. That's what he wanted before, but God gave him a brother.

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