Letters to My Baby ~ #6

Hello little one. My how the time is flying by. I am currently 18 weeks and 1 day pregnant. I am extremely excited that we get a glimpse of you tomorrow through an ultrasound. We had a big party planned on Saturday to find out if you are a boy or a girl, but we might just find out tomorrow instead. Winter has begun and they are predicting rain and snow on Saturday and I don't want our friends to have to drive down here and back in the bad weather. I cannot wait to find out your gender. With your brothers, I just knew. And I never found out the sex until they were born. With you, I can't help myself...and I don't "just know". My gut says you are a girl, but I don't want to get my hopes up. Although, I would be just as happy with another little man to call my own. Your brothers are such blessings to me. I can't wait for Stinky Face to become a big brother. I think he's going to do great with you.

We just celebrated Christmas here. It just wasn't the same this year. We couldn't be with any of our friends or family because of sickness. Stinky Face had strep throat and then G.Q. got the flu. Now I have been sick once again with allergy and flu like symptoms. I am claiming my healing though and praising God for all that He's doing in our lives. Through all the hardships, we still know that we are very blessed.

I had a scare last night; yet another situation that we just had to pray and praise God through. I'm so thankful that I didn't end up in the hospital. Just as I was getting ready for bed, I started having a horrible pain in my stomach. The only way I can describe it, is that it felt like contractions. It would come and go just like contractions too. So of course, I was scared. It took over a half an hour to just be able to sit in my bed. Every time I would attempt to sit, it hurt even more. Your daddy starting speaking healing scriptures over me, and I just started thanking God for healing me. Eventually the pain subsided and we were able to get a half way decent night of sleep. We haven't slept well since the beginning of this pregnancy. I'm trusting God that He will soon allow us to get back to better sleep habit.

Well, until next time, Mommy loves you with all of her heart and soul. I'm so blessed to be carrying you in my stomach and to feel you moving around each day.

My Thoughts on the Tragedy in Connecticut

Today I reflect on yesterday's horrific tragedy where 20 children and 7 adults were killed in an elementary school in Connecticut by a man who also took his own life. It's really hard to gather all of my thoughts. My mind continually drifts off into prayer for those mommies and daddies who probably already had Christmas gifts for their children, but now they'll never get to see them open them up. I pray for the children and the rest of the families who will mourn the loss of the adults whose lives were also taken too soon. I fight back the tears and hug my children extra tight. I run my fingers through my little ones hair and kiss his cheek until he can't take anymore. 

I read post after post on social media pages of friends expressing their sadness and anger. Some posts really bother me; mainly the ones where people hope Satan is having a field day with the gunman's soul. Is that what Jesus wants? Is that what we really want? Heaven surely gained many sweet angels yesterday, but Jesus most likely grieved over the one loss soul. And the heaviness is weighing on my spirit too. What can we do differently to reach out to people before Satan completely wins the fight for their eternal lives? My heart is broken for the families who lost their loved ones yesterday and for Jesus who lost one of his sons.

I'm not defending the gunman at all, just trying to put on the mind of Christ. 
I am reminded of Ephesians 6:12 where the Bible says, "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."  This young man's mind was obviously taken over by the rulers of the darkness of this world and there are plenty of other people who are headed down the same path. What can we do? How can we stop this from happening again? Jesus, please protect your people from the enemy and help us to be your hands and feet to bring the loss back to you!

Be blessed my friends and squeeze your children and loved ones extra tight today!

A Very Special Blessing

Words cannot express how thankful I am that we made it to church this morning. Satan was doing everything in his power to keep us away. He knew what was waiting for us. It's not normally like us to skip church, but I'm just getting over being sick and I don't get to see my husband a lot. As I looked ahead at this week's schedule, I realized that I will be at the church today, Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and twice on Sunday. It just exhausted me to think about, so I thought that today would be a great time to just stay home and have some family time.

Then I saw on facebook that our church would be taking communion today. I called my husband and said sorry, but we can't miss church now. We only partake in communion a few times a year at our church because we don't want it to just be some religious act. I'm sure making the decision to go really ticked the devil off. Even though I have been feeling better, I couldn't fall asleep last night because I couldn't stop coughing. It was sometime after 1am that I finally fell asleep. Needless to say, we woke up late and we left late. My attitude quickly went downhill when I realized that I had forgotten my phone and a couple of other things I wanted to bring with me. Then I realized that it was all a part of Satan's plan to keep me from going. I was so happy to finally be there. The Lord's presence was so overwhelming.

 

As we took communion the man who gave us our juice and cracker passed back by us and stooped down to tell my husband, "Jesus has a very special blessing for you". My eyes filled with tears. My husband has been feeling the spiritual battle taking place around him and I know how much he needed to hear that word. I know that God has so much in store for my family, but as we were walking out of the sanctuary, a man stopped my husband. He had noticed for a while that my husband has trouble controlling his neck. Although we don't like to give it a name, it is tourettes. But we know that because it has a name, it must bow down to the most mighty name of Jesus Christ. We have been believing for my husband's healing for a long time and we remain faithful to do whatever the Lord puts on our hearts, no matter how crazy it seems to us or the rest of the world.

The man who approached us was a chiropractor from the area. We knew his name, but we had never met him before. He told my husband that he's been wanting to talk to him for some time, but just couldn't leave this time without talking to him. He wanted him to come in and get treated because they have seen people in similar situations become healed through their work and of course with help from the Lord. We told them that we are not in a financial position right now to afford treatment and the man said, "Don't worry about it". Once again my eyes filled with tears. I am so thankful for people like this man who have a heart to reach out to people when they know they won't get a financial gain from it.

At the beginning of this year, our pastor looked at my husband and told him that THIS is his year. I knew in my heart that my husband would be healed this year. Here it is, December 9th, and although I had began to question when my husband would be healed, I still held on to hope that it would be this year! And now I am believing that the special blessing that Jesus has in store for my husband is his complete healing....THIS YEAR! I can't wait to see my husband giving his testimony!

Be blessed my friends!

Letters to My Baby ~ #5

 Pink or Blue???

Hello little one! I'm so excited to watch my tummy grow and to begin feeling you move around more often. It's still like little butterflies floating in my belly, but it's the most wonderful feeling in the world. I still feel like you will be a girl. We get to have our big ultrasound on in 3 weeks and we are going to do something very exciting. Instead of finding out your gender, right there at the doctor's office, we are going to have them keep it a secret from us. They will call a friend of ours in Ohio to let her know if you are a boy or a girl, and then she will bake a cake that will be either pink or blue in the middle. She's bringing it to us 2 days after the ultrasound and we are going to have a party. I think it's going to be SO exciting to share this special moment with our closest friends. 

 

Trusting the Lord

Sometimes anxiety tries to creep in. Your youngest brother was delivered via an emergency c-section. After he was born, I thought I would never have any more children. I always wanted more in my heart, but it took over 4 years to get over the fear and to step out and trust the Lord. If it weren't for a prophecy I received, I'm not sure if those walls of fear would've ever crumbled. But, now here you are, growing stronger in my womb each day. He gave you to me and I trust Him now to see us through. I am expecting a natural delivery with zero complications and ALL of the glory will be given to the Lord. I love you, my precious baby.

Letters to My Baby ~ #4

Wow! I'm already in my 2nd trimester. This pregnancy seems to be going to fast. I can't wait until I feel you kicking every day. I don't feel the flutters as much as I did a week or so ago. Maybe you were just trying to find your comfy spot. My stomach is definitely showing that you are growing. With me being so short, you don't have anywhere to go but straight out! I have a friend who is due any time and I honestly think I look bigger than her. Of course, you are also my 3rd child and they say you show sooner with each child. That's definitely been true in my case.

I've been fighting an upper respiratory infection and bronchitis for well over a week now and then to top that off, I got thrush from the antibiotics. But, I'm believing God that I am finally over all of this! I went up for prayer on Sunday and was told by the lady that prayed over me, that she saw in the spirit realm that all this sickness I've been fighting is building up your immune system and you will be my strongest child of the three. I'm believing that with all my heart. You will not have any breathing issues like your brothers did! You will be so healthy and perfect! You, my child, were prophesied to me and you will do mighty things for God's kingdom. I love you with all my heart!

P.S. ~ Although your Stinky Face brother still hopes that you are a boy, he has started telling me that he thinks you are a girl. We'll find out in about a month! YAY

Letters to My Baby ~ #3

I decided to go to the doctor yesterday since today was Thanksgiving. It turned out that I have an upper respiratory infection and the beginning of bronchitis. So, I'm thankful that I went. Last night was a horrible night. I slept upright on the couch and coughed off and on all night. Today hasn't been much better. I just haven't felt well altogether. You will be so worth all of this though. I see other newborn pictures and I just can't wait to see what you look like, and to hold you in my arms. I don't know why I'm rushing time so much though. Your big brother turned 13 today. You know I've been having such a hard time with that. I just don't want to let him go, to let him grow up. I want to squeeze him tighter!

We had a lovely Thanksgiving, even though I really missed our friends and family in Ohio. Dinner was good and celebrating G.Q.'s birthday was great too. I think he was pretty happy. I haven't felt you in a few days. I don't like that. I can't feel you kick yet, but usually I feel butterflies about once a day and I just know that it's you. I love you! Love, Mommy

Winter Blues Already???

Each year my parents head south for the winter. This year they haven't even left and I'm already missing them terribly. They came to visit on Sunday and it's the last time I'll get to see them until the spring. I'm especially having a hard time this year since I'm pregnant. I hate the idea of being pregnant and my mommy being hundreds of miles away from me. I'm also fighting feelings of loneliness and unworthiness. I know these thoughts are not from the Lord, but it's still hard. Sometimes I feel like Jesus is the only one I have to talk to. Which shouldn't be a bad thing. It's also difficult being a stay at home mom where you don't get praise from anyone. And then I'm struggling because I just don't really feel like I'm needed where I love to be the most. I don't want to mention specifically what I'm talking about, but I just know that when I stop being a part of this, it will continue on without me without any problems and I feel like I won't even be missed. I just want to stay inside my home. There's less chance of getting hurt. But doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of loneliness? I wonder how much of these stupid feelings are due to the time change? That seems to bring me down each year. Does anyone else have this issue? 

Sorry that this post is so depressing. It's just what I'm feeling at the moment. I'm a real person and I share it all! I know Jesus will bring me out of it though. Maybe He's put me in this spot so I will draw closer to him. Guess I will get off of the internet and go spend more time with Him. 

Be blessed my friends!

Letters to My Baby ~ #2

I keep telling people that this pregnancy has been much easier than the other two, but now I'm starting to rethink that. I had felt that it was easier because the morning sickness hasn't been as bad. I've only thrown up once, but I'm pretty sure that was because of a virus. Although the morning sickness has been minimal, I feel like I just can't catch my breath from other kinds of illness. I've had that yucky virus, two types of infections and now I've been fighting a cold for four days and I'm only 13 weeks (tomorrow). Which brings me to a very exciting piece of news...that means tomorrow is the beginning of my 2nd trimester! YAY! This pregnancy seems to be flying by and I couldn't be happier about that. There are too many friends and family around me who are getting to hold their newborns in their arms. It makes me day dream about you even more. I can't wait to see what you look like. Will you have light or dark hair? There's no doubt in my mind that you will have hair and I think you'll have plenty of it. When you are first born, I picture you with a head full of dark hair.

I've had 6 total pregnancy dreams so far. With your brothers, I only had boy dreams, so I knew without a doubt that they would be boys. With you, I've dreamed twice that I miscarried (horrible, scary nightmares is more fitting), then I had 2 girl dreams and more recently I dreamed that you were a boy. The main thing I remember about one of the girl dreams is that you had something special about your eyes. They were the brightest, crystal blue color that I've ever seen in my life. I thought something was wrong with you, but when I woke up, God gave me peace and told me that it's a good thing. You have a special calling on your life. I can only imagine the impact you are going to make on this world.

Here's what happened in my last dream: I went in for my ultrasound and I didn't want to find out what you were because we are going to have a party and reveal it there. I hadn't told the doctor this yet, and I looked to my left and saw this printout that was all blue and it said, "It's a boy!!!". I pretended like I didn't see that and I was hoping it was just left there from the last person. Then I told the doctor our plans to not find out. He left the room and another technicion came in. She immediately zoomed in on your private area and I saw that you were a boy. She then verified that what I was looking at was indeed boy parts. I became upset and said, "I can only produce boys.". I was really upset because I didn't have a boy name picked out yet. When I awoke from the dream, I was so convinced that I was having a boy. It took me quite a while to realize that it was all just a dream.

So now, I'm thoroughly confused as to what your gender might be, but I still have a really strong feeling that you are a girl. Everything is just so different this time. Either way, you are a special gift from God and I am so incredibly blessed to have you in my life.

P.S. ~ Your smallest big brother has called you a he from day one! He really wants a little brother. Your oldest brother wants a sister this time. That's what he wanted before, but God gave him a brother.

Letters to My Baby

Since I've been faced with writers block, I decided that I will start writing letters to my unborn child. I think it will be a great way to share my pregnancy experience with others and also something for him or her to cherish when he or she is older. So, here goes:

Dear little berry, yesterday, November 17th, 2012 was the first time that I am 100% sure that I felt you move. I was sitting on my bed talking with my friend Trish (whom you will call Aunt Trish). All of the sudden I felt these really strong flutters in my belly, just to the right of where the doctor has been finding your heartbeat. I was so excited! I laughed and yelled at your daddy to tell him what just happened. He was obviously jealous. He can't wait until you are big and strong enough for him to feel you kicking.

A lot of things are happening in our lives. The biggest event is that your big brother is becoming a teenager. I still can't believe it! Today your mamaw and papaw came down to visit for the last time before they head south for the winter. Your Aunt Trish was also here. G.Q. opened his presents, we spent some time together and then went to Golden Corral to eat lunch. It's always so hard for me to tell my mom and dad goodbye when I know that I won't see them again for at least 4 months and they will be thousands of miles away from me. I miss them so much already!

Tonight your daddy put Christmas lights on the house. The weather here is so gorgeous! Thanksgiving is this Thursday and that is also the day your biggest brother turns 13. Your Grandma B, Great Grandpa & Aunt Cindy will be coming down to celebrate. We'll be taking another trip to Golden Corral because that's your brother's favorite place to eat.

That's all for now. I love you my precious baby. You are my 3rd miracle from Jesus! I'm so thankful for you!

MEMORIES

2006 ~ Me & My Pumpkin

Life seems like a whirlwind. The ticking clock seems to be going faster and faster every day. I remember just like it was yesterday, holding my first baby boy in my arms. I can still smell that fresh baby scent on his skin. I remember how hard it was to go back to work, to leave him with a stranger for the first time. I couldn't wait to run home and see him everyday. He had beautiful, blonde, curly hair and he was always smiling. He was super intelligent. I loved every teachable moment with him. Preschool age was one of my favorite ages with him. We loved finger painting, playing with Play-Doh and drawing pictures. When he was unhappy, all I had to do was put Veggie Tales on TV and he would stare into the tube until he fell asleep. There was no greater feeling than those precious times he fell asleep in my arms.

Where have all the years gone? My heart is saddened by the thought of all the memories we've created. Memories! Those days are gone. Now we have to create new memories that don't include him snuggling up to my chest or being carried around on my hip. My teaching moments have gone from teaching him how to use sippy cups and how to eat with silverware to teaching him 7th grade curriculum, what certain things mean that he hears from other kids, and teaching him more about responsibility. 

My little pumpkin is turning a new page in his life. He's no longer just a child. He's going to be a teenager. I want to hold him so close to me during the next few years, knowing just how fast the rest of my time with him has flown by. But what's so hard, is that this is the time of his life when I know I need to start letting go, just a little bit.

So here's to the new memories that I look forward to creating with my son. Video games, driving school, girls, cooking together, sports, new technologies, helping him grow closer to the Lord, and so much more!

Be blessed my friends!

FORGIVENESS

I am so sick and tired of letting other people control my emotions. I am a Christian who loves the Lord with all my heart and soul. I live my life for Him, however, I am not Him. That means that I am not perfect! Surprise!!! When I realize that I offend or hurt someone, I ask for forgiveness (whether I think I was right or wrong). I'm having a hard time right now because there are a couple of people who this has happened with and I asked for forgiveness and said I was sorry, but the response I got was far from the love of Christ who taught us to forgive seventy times seven (Matthew 18:22). So tonight I ask the Lord to help me to zero back in on HIM and stop worrying about what other people might think of me. My God knows that I love Him and that I try my best to be Christ-like.

Do you ever put too much focus on what other people think of you? I think that is the enemy's plan to distract us and to make us feel less of a Christian than we really are. Well, I'm not falling for it! I KNOW who I am in Christ and NOBODY can shake that foundation! I sleep in peace tonight knowing that I did what the Bible tells us to do. I forgive! And I seek forgiveness of those I hurt! 

Be blessed my friends!

THERE'S A NEW BIG BROTHER IN TOWN

So, I had a little secret but couldn't announce it at the time of my last post. We are expecting our 3rd child in May of 2013! That's part of why I've been so tired and not writing as much lately.  :0)

Here's a picture that we had made to announce it on Facebook:

We had the picture taken with In House Studio & Design. To see more of their work, click HERE.

My husband and I feel extremely blessed because we know that children are a blessing from the Lord. He has shown us so much mercy, grace, and favor. My life just wouldn't be the same without my children, so I'm so thankful that He's going to trust us with another one.

Be blessed my friends!