What do I do God? WHAT should I do?
I weigh the pros and cons.
I consult with my husband night after night.
I ask my closest friends and family.
I read self help books.
And then...I read...His Word! Not like I do each normal morning. I start REALLY studying what He's been trying to tell me all along. I not only read it in my New King James version, but I get out my son's IPod and I start reading it in other translations that make it more real to me, like the Message Bible. I use the dictionary to look up the meanings of words that I want to go deeper with.
And suddenly I start hearing His voice more clearly than ever before. When I read something from a book today, they words just jumped off of the page at me and gave me the confirmation that I needed. It said, "God's will is not something hidden that needs to be found; it is something revealed that waits to be done." What I realized is that God doesn't want me to search out answers for every issue that I think I have right now. He wants me to continue on in the race that I am running; be more diligent with the tasks that He has already placed before me. Matthew 6:34 in the Message Bible says, "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." And Hebrews 10:35-36 says, "You were sure of yourself then. It's still a sure thing! But you need to stick it out, staying with God's plan you'll be there for the promised completion".
Now, I do believe that there are definitely seasons for everything in our lives and somethings must come to an end. But for me, these verses convicted me to stop searching for all the answers and trust that God has already given them to me. I just need to keep pressing forward. I have an amazing business. I have the ability and desire to homeschool and I know that someday I will have another child, whether it's from my womb or from somewhere else. So for now, I will just continue on with what God has blessed me with and if other opportunities arise, then I will seek Him to see if it's a door that I should walk through.