Friday, June 29, 2012

I'm trying so hard to stand on God's Word and His promises to me, but today I feel like I'm being ripped apart at the seems. Satan keeps trying to tell me that I'm a total failure...a quitter. Deep down in my heart, there's a small space that doesn't believe his lies. But obviously there's a bigger part that does, or I wouldn't be here crying my eyes out as I type these words. I'm so confused and I know confusion doesn't come from the Lord. So what do I do? I pray everyday. I read the Bible everyday. What more is there? I've fasted plenty of times. I've sought counseling. Still, I feel useless. I feel unsuccessful. I feel the opposite of all the things that I pray to be everyday. Why? Why can't I get out of this rut? Why can't I feel like I'm making a difference in someone's life? Today I feel like a failure in my most important job, which is representing Jesus Christ. I need more clarity. I wish someone could just come to me and tell me what to do because I don't know anymore.

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